Did I tell you about the guy out to hunt for Bin Laden here in Pakistan? American, got shipwrecked off the Carribean coast a few years back; swam to shore safely, saw this as a sign from God that he had been saved in order to kill Bin Laden. So, he buys two weapons- one small knife, and a huge fuck-off samurai sword. He manages to fly to Islamabad, and then WALKS to Gilgit! It's something like 600km - Marathon des Sables, eat your heart out! Anyway, he gets lost on the way to Gilgit, ends up at K2 (second highest mountain in the world) base camp (roughly right direction but 200km too far east); gets to Gilgit in the end, from where he plans to set off into the Hindu Kush mountains. Problem is, whilst shopping for knick-knacks in Gilgit (even the killer of Bin Laden has an obsession with tourist tack), he loses his big sword. WHAT A DICK! He decides he can no longer carry on in his mission.....this time. He is planning a sensational return to Pakistan next year, when his arrival will be heralded by a huge earthquake in northern Pakistan. Watch out for that one on the news... never met this guy, but heard about him from lots of people.

-Adam, September 2005; e-mail.